Chatting With Hugh Jackman About Self-Kindness

As I studied Hugh Jackman in preparation for my first book, there was one thing that bothered me. He seemed really hard on himself. And it also seemed like he thought that was the reason for his success. I really wished for the opportunity to explain to him that he is successful in spite of his harsh inner voice, not because of it.

Then I started hearing him say some hopeful things on podcast interviews. And this month I got the opportunity to ask him about it! Without further ado, here’s how our conversation went (to the best of my recollection - being that close to him can kinda make you forget your own name):

LOUISA: Do you have time for a question?

HUGH: Sure!

L: This is a follow up to your conversation last week with Terry Real. It sounds like you’re learning to be kinder to yourself, which makes me so happy I could cry.

H: (Smiles and winks) Yes.

L: About a year ago you did a podcast with Peter Attia, and you and he were wondering together whether being more gentle with yourself would make you lose your competitive edge. (Hugh laughs and nods.) So I’m hoping that now you’ve realized that being kind to yourself only makes you better?

H: Yes, I know that fully now.

L: That makes me so happy!

H: Aw, thank you for saying that.

And there you have it, friends! If one of the most accomplished people in the world can prove to himself that a kinder inner voice not only makes life happier, it actually improves your performance, please take that knowledge and run with it!

How My Obsession With Hugh Jackman Saved My Marriage

I’m a big fan of authenticity - that our vulnerability gives others permission to be real also. So here you go, my best tips for a strong marriage, as learned from Hugh and Deb.

(If you’ve read my book, this is chapter 12, just with a different title.) 🙂

Sacrifice or Joy? Which is More Powerful?

Conventional wisdom says that the most important keys to success are determination through challenging times and willingness to make sacrifices. But what does research show? 

A study of elderly nuns (the original subject of study was Alzheimers disease) uncovered some stunning results. (The numbers have been rounded for ease of reporting.) 

Journals were discovered that 180 of the nuns had kept when they first entered the convent. Those journals were broken into two groups. One group's overriding theme was that life as a nun was going to be challenging, a big sacrifice, but they were determined to see it through. The other group's overriding theme was how happy they were to be there, that they were living their dream. There were about 90 nuns in each group. 

Of the 90 whose journals talked of challenge and sacrifice, 20 were still alive 60 years later. 

Of the 90 whose journals talked of happiness and dreams, 70 were still alive 60 years later. 

Do people living their dreams encounter challenges and make sacrifices? Of course they do! So when we observe people succeeding in wonderful ways, we see them moving through challenges and think that’s what makes them successful. But then we look at someone else encountering a challenge and think they “should“ be able to push through as well. 

We need to take a step back and look at what’s behind the motivation of the first person. Where does their energy come from? Someone who is focused on a dream, as opposed to something they feel they are “supposed to“ do, is far less likely to be slowed down by challenges, because their vision is on their dream. So if we want to effectively help people move through challenging times, we can refocus them on their dream! Or if we discover they are not following a dream, we can help them get clarity on a different direction. 

Study source: Dr. Kim Cameron, professor of Management and Organizations at the University of Michigan. Original study was done at the University of Minnesota in 2008.

Guest on Single Moms Doing It All

The realm of all possibilities series episode 2: Using Joy to Propel You

If you think that following your joy and your heart won’t bring you anywhere, think again! Today my guest Louisa Dykstra author of “The Joy Revolution”, is telling us how she embarked on the joy journey and ended up writing a book. Her process started with her interest in the movie “The Greatest Showman” and its star Hugh Jackman to arrive at self discovery and teaching about brain training.​​ ​Listen to her very unusual story and learn how you too could use joy to lead you where you want to go.

Click here to listen.

Host Murielle Fellous is a single mother and intuitive life coach dedicated to helping other single moms overcome their challenges and co-parent with the universe.

Emotions During a Pandemic

In times of strong emotion, especially fear, the Emotional Scale is an incredibly powerful tool. Here’s a brief run through of how to use it to work through fear or anger.

Autopilot Brain Analogy - The Power of the Other 19 Horses

Only 5% of our behavior is driven by conscious choices, the other 95% is driven by our autopilot programming. I use the analogy of trying to control your 1 conscious “horse” vs learning how to direct the other 19 horses driving your life! Originally recorded for a Norwex team meeting.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Guest on 500th Episode of The Mind Aware Show

Dana invited some top brain trainers to join her for this episode.  What are their daily practices, favorite mantras, tips, and tricks for staying on track with their brain training?  Listen in to find out! 

The Mind Aware Show is Positive Mindset for Entrepreneurs.  Dana Wilde, the #1 bestselling author of Train Your Brain, delivers motivation, marketing ideas, and business tips designed to breakthrough your limiting beliefs, and manifest freedom and success in your business.  Dana Wilde goes beyond positive thinking and the Law of Attraction. This show is the ultimate in Entrepreneur Mindset. 

How Self-Talk Affects Success

Did you know negative self-talk reinforces the behavior you don’t like? If you want to be kinder and more effective, your self-talk is the most important piece of the puzzle.

Mindset Training: How Emotions Affect Your Results

Positive thinking is NOT about faking it or denying emotions. It’s about learning how to shift your emotions with intentional thoughts. (Training originally done for my Norwex team, so the examples I use apply to direct sales. The principles and techniques apply to any situation.)

The Emotional Scale graphic I mention from Dana Wilde:

Guest on The Mind Aware Show

What happens when you go from a business that is “action” based, nose-to-the-grindstone, make-things-happen, to a business that is based on feeling good, having fun, and taking care of yourself?  Exponential growth.  Learn how Louisa made the shift and became one of the top ten teams in her company.

Click here to listen.